100 Authors + 100 Bloggers = All Foster Care Youth and Alumni

Thursday, December 3, 2009

How to Be A Parent When Your Parent Was A System

Postcard created by someone in or from foster care, as part of FCAA's Culture of Foster Care PostCard Project.

I grew up in just about all aspects of the system. Starting with Kinship care, then facilities, group homes and foster homes. I think the happiest times were when I was with my grandparents.

One of the things I knew at a young age is that I didn't want to turn out like my parents. My Father is a drug addict who spent most of my life in prison, and my mom -- well she tried hard but never really got a grasp on how to be a parent.

Now I am pregnant with my first child. I want my baby to have a better life than I did and for months now I have been afraid that even though I want so much for him, I will find myself following in my parents footsteps. All parents want more for their children than what they had, but that want didn't do much for my siblings and me. I feared that somehow my genes will keep me from being a good parent.

Then I read FLUX. The chapter on how to be a good parent really helped calm my fears. It was a comfort to me knowing that I was not the only one who has been consumed with these thoughts. This paticular chapter of the book has helped me so much. Becoming a parent is a wonderful but really scary experence. I feel more comfortable with myself after reading the book and would recomend it to anyone who is having the same concerns and feelings I have.

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