The Terror of Intimacy

I loved the suggestion in FLUX that, in order for each of us to move forward, we might need to leave certain things behind.

As a former foster child, the two burdens mentioned in the book that weighed me down most on my journey were:

• "Leaving behind the idea that you are either good or bad, a success or a failure -- because we're all a messy mix of both those things."

• "Leaving behind the safety of doing things alone -- because emotional intimacy requires vulnerability."

I'll never forget how terrified I was on my wedding day.

I had made it through foster care - through college - though graduate school. I'd traveled the journey from homeless teenager to full-time professional.

But nothing in my past had prepared me for the sheer horror of trusting my heart to someone.

It was the scariest risk I ever took. And the bravest and best decision that I ever made.

To be honest, I believe that the reason why I often felt inadequate when facing new challenges was that I didn't have a "how-to manual" to show me the way.

I'm so glad that we foster care alumni are lighting the way for one another today...